When Saying No Is Actually A Good Thing
I was recently having a conversation with my sister and she was telling me all of the things she needed to get done. She rattled off, “I needed to go to the store for mom, I need to take something to this person, I have to go and pick up something from someone else before they go to work, all before I have to be in car pool line.”
She also mentioned that she was so sleepy. I calmly asked her what was she going to take off of her list. She became silent. She never answered. So I kept talking. I told her we are ALL busy. We ALL have things to do, but when others routinely fill our schedule, we have to learn to start saying “NO” to some things.
Two things can happen:
1. She will have more time to take care of herself.
2. She will be able to do the things she committed to a whole lot better.
She said ok….
She eventually came back and told me someone asked her to do something and she said she had previous obligations. She said at first she was heading into the mode of thinking how can I fit that in. Then she remembered oh wait, I don’t really have to- NO is an option. I could hear and feel her reliving that conversation. I smiled. I was happy for her. She said it felt good to say NO, and she giggled.
You can’t do it all, if you want to do any part of it WELL!
Let’s be clear there will be times when you are non-stop and you just have to do what you can to get it all done or you will drop what you are doing to show up in the case of unforeseen circumstances. Other times however, let the power of “NO” save you from a little bit of stress and overwhelm.
So what happens when you say no?
1. Your level of accumulated stress and overwhelm due to over commitment is immediately diminished. You feel lighter.
2. People will take notice and they will start honoring your time as well. Who knew.
3. You will be able to do the things already on your list better.
You may be thinking, OK, fine. I may try this but I’ve been on the “yes, people pleasing train” for so long, I may not even know how to say NO. I’ve got you covered.
If someone asks you, at the last minute, to create something for them and your virtual plate is full, tell them:
“Thanks so much for thinking of me. I like to give my undivided attention to any projects that I am a part of. I am going to decline at this time, but with a little bit of a notice I’d love to be considered future projects.”
Keep in mind, saying No, doesn’t mean that you are selfish. Making time for yourself gives you the mental, spiritual, and physical bandwidth to show up in this world rejuvenated, calm, and ready to take action.
The world is as busy as it’s ever been. Being busy with no down time is not a badge of honor. There will be phases in life where you have to go non-stop. Then there will be other times where you get to choose. One of the best choices you can make regarding your time is “NO.” Like me on Facebook for more tips and tools to help you take action towards meaningful priorities.